Recovering

Surgery went well. No complications to speak of, just the irritations of healing now. My follow-up appointment with my surgeon is Wednesday, so hopefully I'll get these drains removed. I spent the day and evening before surgery with some friends and had a blast. Yeah, we drank a bit too much. Went to a couple clubs then ended up back at Kelvin's house. Good times.

Preceded by 34 Bad Years

May fucking sucks. My mind is going a million miles a minute and I can't collect my thoughts. So much has happened, but I'll only pinpoint a few of the details. My plastic surgery is coming up soon and I'm scared. Being sliced open from hip to hip is not something I'm looking forward to. The recovery will be terrible, and there is no one to take care of me. Yeah, I'm a baby and I want my mommy. And of course there is always the fear of not making it. Not really a fear to me, cause right now getting the dirt sleep sounds nice. But my mom... she has been through too much and if something happened to me it would devastate her. Secondly, I'm an emotional basketcase. Should I take what is right in front of me and settle for something I don't want, or opt to be alone? He wants me, but I want someone else. Not fair to any of us, but I'm the one who ends up crying every night thinking about "what might have been." Please, someone take my damn heart out of me. And to top it all off, May 27 is the anniversary of my sisters death. It will be 3 years. Seems like yesterday my dad told me the news. Seems like yesterday when I walked into her room where she lay and kissed her on the forehead before she was moved. Seems like yesterday we were having out sisterly spats. Seems like yesterday she was calling me a "tardo." It just seems like yesterday. I miss her sooo fucking much I just can't deal with it. The stupid things she would do are burned in my mind. Like when she would come over and look in my closets saying "do you have anything I can have?" I can't even type about her without the tears running down my face. Why was she taken from me? Why do I have to grow old without my big sister? Just fucking WHY???

Vacation Baby!

Freakin' ROCKED! San Diego, Tijuana, and a cruise to Cabo San Lucas. 10 days of pure fun. Went with some of my best friends and definitely couldn't have had a better time. Not to mention the drinking was in plenty of quantity. I have 346 international roaming minutes on my cell phone bill to prove it. Don't drink and dial people! lol Have a great weekend!

Light of My Life

Mom & Me
02/09/2008

What a Nightmare!

Greetings all. Finally decided to spend some time online to make an update. Mom's surgery was textbook. Everything went as planned and she was released on Saturday evening to come home. The recovery... not so textbook. On Sunday morning, I went to wake my mom around 9. She normally doesn't sleep that late, but I figured she was just medicated and exhausted from her surgery. Not so. She was sweating profusely, and unresponsive. Her eyes were rolled back in her head and she was mumbling. It was like she had a massive stroke. Called an ambulance. She had gone in to diabetic shock. Her blood sugar had dropped to 20! I have NEVER been so scared in my life! She was admitted to the hospital and they did many tests. They also found that she has post-op pneumonia. All day Sunday they had a difficult time getting her sugar above 50. Monday morning at 6am the phone rang. Uh-oh! It was the hospital calling telling me to get up there! Mom's blood sugar had bottomed out and she had a bad seizure. Talk about freaking out! When my dad and I got there, she was alert, but very upset about it all. She had not had any sleep, as the nurse kept her up all night making her eat to raise her levels. And even all day Monday she was unable to fall asleep. I think her nerves were shot to hell. Finally she fell asleep around 8pm, so I went home. Bright and early Tuesday morning I went back up, and found out that her blood sugars were finally stable. Apparently sometime in the night, they just went back to normal. Whew! The doctor said if she reached 150 and remained there or at least 3 hours, he would release her to come home. She did it. She came home, and I'm sure I tested her blood every 20 minutes or so. Paranoia at it's best! When I put her to bed for the night, I was scared I would find her in bad shape in the morning. I was wrong, thank God! I checked her sugar at 6am, and it was great. So far, so good. I've still been testing her frequently, and they have maintained. Back to normalcy. Of course I'm still checking her often, and I have a big supply of candies should the need arise. Now is the recovery period from her back surgery. She has to wear an awful brace, but I'm sure it's necessary. As of now, all is well. Thanks to everyone for the messages and emails. It's been a rough and exhausting ride. One I hope I NEVER have to experience again.

Titanium Replacement

Greetings all. This morning at 10:30 my mom will be having back surgery. It is a pretty extensive surgery and she is a little scared. As many of you might know, my mom is the light of my life, and I love her more than life itself. Please send some good vibes her way today. She will be in the hospital for 2-3 days. So today at 10:30 I will be sitting in the waiting room for a few hours, probably doing a crossword and worrying about the outcome.

Lots of love from me and mom! Cheers!

Jingle Bells

Went to a Christmas party this past Tuesday and had a blast. Spent time with Lori (pictured with me), Ann, Kristen and Jennifer. Was kinda like an episode of "what not to wear." I'm sure a few of the people that went didn't look in a mirror before leaving their homes. Tsk tsk. There were drinks and a small assortment of cheeses and fruit. Is it possible to eat a truckload of cheese in one night? If so, I sure did.

The Light of My Life

Me with my mom just after she was baptized.

Cabo San Lucas is in for it

Woohoo! We're going on a cruise to Mexico! Our first ever! Me, Becky, Jolene, Rita and Carol have scheduled it and we are gonna rock it! It's not until April, but by then, Becky, Jolene and I will be almost a year out, and we are gonna be smokin'! There's nothing better than being able to go to Mexico with your best friends!

Check out...

Hybrid Glitch - A fantastic metal band from Lafayette, Indiana. I went to school with lead singer Scott, and I always knew he had it in him. Such talent. Hybrid Glitch has performed with Sevendust, Saliva and other famous talent. They perform frequently, and although based here in Lafayette, they travel the country for shows. I HIGHLY recommend that you catch a show if possible. Check out some of the music on their MySpace page.

Back Home

Had a fabulous time in Hollywood/Los Angeles and San Diego.
Walked about a gazillion miles on Hollywood Blvd, seeing all of the great places. Definitely a freak show there. I think seeing Grauman's was the best part of that. Definitely a place to see!

Got some excellent exercising in there, which was needed after the long flight. Oh, and LAX, well, I think I'm scarred from having to get through that airport! lol
So after a couple days in Hollywood, I took the train to San Diego to see Becky and Jolene. We had lunch with Holly Berry. That girl cracks me up. Then to the hotel. NOT what was expected. Had to call maintenance twice, once to get a shower head, and another to get the refrigerator working! lol
We went to Seaport Village the first night and that was fun. Then off to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. I can't believe all the food that was wasted! Pre-op I would have cleaned my plate and maybe someone else's! I had most of a taco, and a couple bites of beans and rice. I was sooo tired from having been up so long that I fell asleep while we were waiting to get a table!
The next day I had lunch with Bec, Jolene, Carol and Cindy Z. I love seeing friends!
Did a lot of sightseeing the next 2 days, and if you've never seen the sun set over the ocean, you need to. Amazing.

A lot of people were there, and the weather was nice. There was even an older couple there that had brought a little table and chairs, and were drinking wine and having cheese! They actually brought a block of cheese and cut off of it. Was soo cute!

Odd & Ends

Greetings from the Hoosier state! I don't really have one topic to delve into today, so I'm just going to touch on a few basics.

• Early this morning I bought my plane ticket for my vacation in September. Originally I was going to fly into Santa Ana, but instead I'll be dealing with LAX. That'll be a trip in itself I'm sure. The latter part of the trip will be spent in Hollywood, so it will be easier to deal with than traveling back to John Wayne airport. Woohoo!


• Normally I have excellent dreams, but not last night. I had 3 different terrible ones! The last one was the worst. I was trapped in a room, where there was a speaker and video camera. Someone on the other end wouldn't let me leave, and if I tried to open the door, the fire alarm went off. Hey, it was scary when I was dreaming it! lol People kept knocking on the door and I'd tell them what was happening, and they thought I was joking! Finally some dude helped me out. Love ensued, but I have no idea who this guy was. I remember the face, and it's not one I've seen before.

• Lastly, G.W. Bush! WTF is he doing? Bailing his friends out of trouble again. Yup, the elusive "Scooter" Libby had his prison sentence wiped clean by the one and only loser of the free world. Seems we need to rethink calling the US a "free world." It's taken a bit too literally.

Another day, another dollar

Greetings friends. Well, another birthday down. Today I'm 34. I received many well wishes and some amazing gifts from family and friends. My friend Haven made me this awesome birthday card.She definitely rocks. She also made one for Michelle (Eggface Chronicles) who shares the same birthdate. How cool is that? Today has been a good day. A rainy one, but good. I sooo can't wait for our vacation in Los Angeles. Not much longer! Woohoo!! Tomorrow night my mom and I are going to too see "Sicko" - should be excellent. Cheers!

California Baby - Part 2

Uh huh, that's right... I'm going to Cali again. In early September with 4 friends, and possibly another. Disneyland is callin' my name! Let's see, what will we do? Hollywood walk of fame? That would rock! But hey, just hangin' with my girls will be awesome! I think I'll be flying into Santa Ana again, because it will be closest to the hotel, and of course I'll need shuttle service. I'm gonna be chowing down on some "DIP sauce" with Becky, Michelle, Kim & Sarah. We'll definitely have to do some karaoke so Kim can sing "Heartbreaker." Damn that girl can sing! Unfortunately Kathy won't be able to go, but we might be able to get Mary Ann to! I'll be going to Phoenix in October, so I'll see Mary Ann and Kathy there, so that's awesome. At least this trip I'll save a lot on food costs! lol Seeing that I only eat 2-3 ounces, I'm sure some of us will be sharing some dishes! Woohoo for California! Yeah, I'm excited, can't ya tell? Have a lovely day!

Wowsa

I had a complete blast in California with all my friends. The first night we went to a karaoke bar called "Durty Nellys" and it was absolutely hilarious! I never knew Kim could sing like that! She rocked the house. Woohoo! The Crowne Plaza hotel was immaculate, and I certainly didn't want to come home. Even the room service was superb! Of course, it cost me $12 to watch a movie. Go figure lol

California Baby!

The Annoying Lizard is going to Orange County! That's right... I'll be flying into Santa Ana on April 13 and staying in Irvine for a few days. You know you want to hang out with me! I'm going to an OH convention where I'll be with a bunch of friends! It's gonna be the time of our lives! Woohoo!

Mindscape

Ever have one of those thoughts that you just can't get out of your mind no matter what you do? I would welcome it if it were a nice one, but why does despair overtake everything you do? Even now, 10 months after the death of my sister, I still have the mindset like it is the moment I found out. That moment of devastation and that no matter what you do, this is the one damn thing you can't control. Maybe I'm just losing my mind and going completely crazy. I sure miss her.